I don’t normally listen to the radio anymore, now that I am always equipped with my iPod. But when I get to ride public transportation like buses or jeepneys or taxi cabs, I always get to listen to the radio stations that are being commonly listened to by the masses.
Their jokes are usually tasteless, filled with toilet humor and sometimes just plain offensive but they do get hilarious at times.
A while ago, when I was on the way home, I took a taxi cab. I was carrying my thinkpad, a large paper bag and my office bag. It was such a hassle to take the train then walk home from the station. When I sat down, I recognized the familiar voice of a DJ who’s hosting a radio show called TLC. I got familiar with him because surprisingly, when I take a taxi every thursday night, the taxi drivers seem to favor his show and listen to it every time it airs.
So, I end up listening to it too.
Kanina, the caller was a woman who got abandoned. She said her name was Jerelyn. Her story started four years ago, when her fiance stood her up on the altar on their wedding day. Apparently, the guy ran off with some other girl who he has gotten pregnant. Because of that event, Jerelyn’s grandmother had a heart attack which lead to the grandma’s death. Now, four years later – yes, that long – Jerelyn still couldn’t move on because of this hate and anger towards the guy who left her, embarrassed her family and was partly the reason of her grandmother’s death.
Now the DJ, who was called “Papa Jack” was telling her that in order to move on, Jerelyn had to learn how to do something really difficult – she had to learn how to forgive.
Papa Jack was saying that being angry at someone will not help you with anything. Ikaw yung magiging talo. He said that sayang ang time ni Jerelyn, instead of moving on and letting go, she still dwells on the past and stays with this anger.
In the words of Papa Jack, he said “Kasi yung lalake na yan, he chose to be happy by not marrying you there. Pero ikaw you chose to be angry and carry that grudge for four years.”
Now, ako, I have experiences with those. I know what it’s like to be raging with anger at someone. It was never a good feeling. It was always this ugly thing that you know is lurking in your mind. If you let it stay in you it will just destroy you. So ngayon, when I know that someone is seething with rage at me, and I can’t do anything about it… naaawa na ako sa person na yun. And when I get hate messages, I don’t feel bad for myself. I feel bad for this person instead. Kasi I know how horrible this person must be feeling para magawa na mag send pa sakin ng isang message full of hate. :(
When I feel angry at someone, I try to gather all effort to think of the positive things and silently pray na this person will be okay.
When we are angry at someone, we fail to see the things that are happening all around. There are so many things to do and see… so many people around you to love and if you focus on this ball of anger inside you, you let all of those good things pass you by. It’s sad because they’re the things that matter more than your own anger. They’re the stuff that should be happening in your life now.
I am not saying that I have mastered the forgiveness-thing. It takes more than this realization to actually do something epic like forgiveness. When you got hurt, you have all the right to feel anger. Pero you don’t have to carry it with you forever. You have to learn to choose to let it go.
Ako, I could proudly say now that I’m getting there. Recently, I am realizing that there are other things in my life that I could devote my energy and love to. And you know what, I love the feeling when something good happens. :) There is always something good happening, and it’s a nice feeling to be aware of it.
Sometimes, pag nag fi-feeling matalino ako, iniisip ko na siguro this is one of the reasons why we were always taught that we should forgive. Remember, in the bible? It was said that we should forgive seventy times seven times something. Not being all religious here, pero perhaps yung mga dogma and stuff meron naman sigurong something na may sense na pinaghugutan yun. Kaya nga maraming naniniwala.
Back then, I thought, we are going to forgive para sa ikabubuti nung person na nakasakit satin, na forgiving daw is an act of selflessness. Pero pano kung halimbawa, wala na sa country mo yung person na yun? And may sarili na siyang buhay, masaya, etc. That person doesn’t care anymore if you will forgive him or not, right? Pero ikaw, you are still carrying this anger… di ka makamove on and you get with it with life, knowing na galit ka sa tao na to. What a crappy feeling, right?
Ayun, dun ko narealize na actually, we are forgiving those who hurt us … because we want to set ourselves free.
Pag dumating yung time when the things and the people that hurt you are forgiven, you will feel na parang may bara na nawala. Things will start to turn brighter, you will get to see more positive things and when you see the bright side, even more good things will happen. The universe will just reflect energies back to you based on how you feel.
:) Sana makita niyo ung sense sa pinag sasabi ko. Kahit konti. Hehe. Kala niyo pinag isipan ko to mabuti para madeliver nang matalino! :P
Now, I think I am going to email Papa Jack. Kahit na minsan may pagka jologs ang ibang mga maka-masang radio stations, may mga natututunan ako sa mga pinapayo niya sa iba. :) Goodnight people.
See you in Singapore.. yeahba. :))