Kanina sa dyip, it’s not that I’m being emo or something, but I was feeling this anger again. Hindi na siya tulad nung dati, pero masakit parin siya. It’s an ugly feeling, believe me. Madalas ko siya naffeel everyday, pero it gets less as the time goes by. Like recently, I find myself actually happy to go to work. haha!
But seriously, the times na happy ako are longer now, than the times na malungkot and galit ako.
I find that I’m starting to get better with pacifying the Outer child.
I find myself saying to him (yes, I feel that my outer child is a boy), “I know you feel angry. But things already happened, so focus yourself and move on. Let things go. Come on.” Then think of happy thoughts like going back to Japan again. Hehe.
Often times, I am tempted to lash out because I see and read things related to them that hurt. But I know that I’m not a bad person. I don’t do those things and fighting with someone (online or not) is not my thing.
So, tama na. Tahan na. Let go na.
(just some definitions)
My sister told me one time, that within us, there are three selves.
The Inner Child – the young child who feels all emotions. The one who gets hurt, the one who feels the happyness and stuff. Inner child is all about emotion.
The Outer Child – the young child who defends the Inner Child when she’s hurt. The one who lashes out in anger and who acts upon impulse. Outer child is all about behavior.
The Adult – the one who tries to comfort the Inner Child when she is crying and pacifies the Outer Child when he’s getting uncontrollable.
Mostly, when we get hurt, our adult self is the one who should take over. If our adult self is not matured enough, we often fall into bad decisions. When we hurt, we hurt others back.
I’m struggling to get my adult self’s act together. She is matured enough to let things be. Or so I tell myself.
Haay. :) Good morning you guys.