looking for my parachute

I had the mistake of reading ang blog ng girlfriend. It was the typical mistake any person trying to move on would do. Lolz. Before reading that, I was actually okay. Pero after I did, well it really made me feel bad, kahit na I knew it was like that from the start.

Feeling ko I was pushed tapos nawawala ung parachute ko!!

Sabi nga sakin ni Sir Chris, wag ko na tingnan yun. It’s like naiinggit pa ako sa iphone ng iba. Eh pede naman ako kumuha ng ibang phone na mas suitable sakin. Baka talagang hindi sakin meant ung iPhone.

This morning I woke up, still a little hungover on the sadness, pero I realize na this was just a small set back. I am starting to pull myself up, after getting slightly dipped in this post-relationship sadness. Inisip ko uli everything that has made me realize na I am actually happy. Parang “being happy” has just been buried under heavy slabs of rejection and denial. I need to lift those away na, para makahinga na uli.

Sometimes, I keep forgetting na malaki nga pala ang mundo. It’s so vast that there so many things to do and see.

What happened has happened. Siguro if I had a time machine, I could tell myself to stop whatever it was I was doing para hindi na mangyari yun, pero mahal siguro pagawa ng time machine and mahirap kaya I have no choice.

Doc: "Come on, terri! Hop in and let's knock some sense into your past self!"

Also, if I would go back in time, it would mean that there would be two of myself na present at an instance. So technically, that would no longer be me. If I go back in the present, what happened still happened because of the ME, regardless kung bumalik pa ako sa time or not. Lolz.

My dreams are too big and there are so many things waiting out there to be experienced. I should stop chaining myself to this unmovable stone na part of my life so that I could get on my way.

The girl is happy, the guy is happy and I wish them happiness. Sure I’m sad about it and it does make me cry at times. Pero, I’m happy na despite of this sadness, I was able to experience something as beautiful as loving someone so much and being loved in return -even if only for a short while.

My parachute was here all along, hindi ko lang sinuot kasi I was busy crying.

So now, *straps on parachute* let’s prepare ourselves for the next adventure!


Categories: realizations | Tags: | Leave a comment

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