Argh. Ang tagal ko hindi naka update. To my adoring fans (if there are any), I apologize. Things are just getting busier and the emo self is demanding so much time. I just wish I could ignore it. :)
Have you guys heard of John Robert Powers? It’s this personality development school, I’m seriously thinking of enrolling in their 10-day course, but it’s too expensive. It’s about the same price as my lifetime membership in the gym (a good thing too, that lifetime membership, i tell you).
Every time I tell people that I’m thinking of enrolling, their usual reply was “Are you sure you need it?” These people knew me as someone who’s very confident. Someone who won’t need a personality booster.
But people change. We change because of the things that we have experienced. Neri always tell me na dati, everywhere I go it seemed like I was walking with a rainbow on my back. And now, kahit nasan ako, parang may dark cloud looming over me. Dati, when I meet new people, I was the one who would try to get to know everyone in the room. Ngayon, it seemed like they’re the ones who approach me. I no longer feel the need to know everyone. Probably just the person sitting beside me.
The other night, I had dinner with two of my fantastic officemates at Chili’s. There I got the idea of John Robert Powers. Yes, it is life-changing, according to my friend who has been through one of their 10-day courses.
I need to gain back the confidence I had in myself before that relationship. A relationship where I had to change into someone. That was the time when I thought to myself that nothing else mattered except this person. I believed that he was worth everything. The thought of being with him made me run faster. It made me reach farther.
Kaya when he has gone, my world turned black and white.
Kaya I want to bring back color to my world. Increase the exposure, put more vibrance, step up the clarity until my world is transformed into something even better than what I had before.
I asked my sister, who has always been there to give me good advices, about enrolling, and it was surprising what she told me. Kasi she likes classes for self-improvement, pero this time, she told me something which I wasn’t really expecting.
She told me that Happyness comes from within. Something na alam ko na before, pero kinalimutan ko lang. When I entered in a relationship where I was trying to make it work, I gave so much until all that loss completely changed me.
Now, I’m going to bring myself back. Even better than who I was before. Kahit anong mangyari.
Kahit gaano pa kahirap. I will bring me back.